Since I Think That Bruno Mars Is Ridiculous

Bruno Mars is full of crap.

Most of my friends know I feel this way because every time I hear a song by him on the radio, I say those exact words: “Bruno Mars is full of crap.”

I’m sorry for those of “you” (I’m pretty sure there are like a whole of 5 people that read this every once in awhile) who really like Bruno Mars. I’ll give him credit that he’s a very talented musician… but that doesn’t change that he lies through his lyrics.

Granted, he probably legitimately feels the way he does in his songs. Take Just The Way You Are (Nothing On You is also interchangeable) for example: “Cause girl you’re amazing, just the way you are.” Right. If you’re a super model maybe? And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe that the best beauty is completely natural. But I’ve heard some thoughts from guy friends in what they think about other girls… and the thoughts aren’t exactly nice. Now, there’s a certain girl for every guy out there, and I’m sure they truly think this one girl is just amazing the way she is. However, Bruno Mars is trying to appeal to the female race in saying “You’re amazing… just the way you are… ladies” (I paraphrased a bit). So this leads to a bunch of girls thinking “Oh.my.gosh. Bruno Mars thinks I’m so hott just the way I am!” Honey… he’s trying to make money. He has a bunch of girls throwing themselves at him, and I’m sure is singing this song to them. I’m not saying all guys are full of crap when they say things like this. I’m saying Bruno Mars is.

And how about my “favorite” song, Grenade? Wow. I just need to get this out of the way. The beginning of the song he says “Should’ve known you was trouble from the first kiss; had your eyes wide open…. WHY WERE THEY OPEN?” Okay so three possibilities of how Bruno Mars knew this chick’s eyes were wide open. 1.) He had creepy friends watching their first kiss and were like “Bro… her eyes were NOT closed and she was staring hard at you.” 2.) She blatantly told him after they kissed “You look funny when you first kiss a girl.” 3.) HE WAS STARING STRAIGHT BACK AT HER.

I’m still trying to weight out the possibilities, so I’ll let you make your own decision without telling you what I think.

Next point about “Grenade”. Dude… you would not die for this girl. And even if you would, things can turn out much differently if you HAD to die for her. Honestly, if someone was throwing grenades at her (I’m giggling to myself because all I can think of is Jersey Shore right now… sorry if you don’t understand the reference), you’d be like “Sorry, lady. Your eyes were wide open during our first kiss. You ain’t right” and then peace out. Yet again, I am not saying all guys are this way. I’m just saying that Bruno Mars’ "logical reasoning" isn’t very clear to me.

I’m going to give homes some credit. “Billionaire” is complete truth. You’re a freaking liar if you wrote a song saying you don’t want to be a billionaire.